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  • Someone From the Past

    Someone From the Past

    Our eyes meet across the cafe. I know those eyes, but I never expected to see them ever again. He was my first love, the one people way you never forget. It was only a summer, right after we turned eighteen.

    I look away, but those eyes are a gateway to my memory. I melt into the past for a moment, reliving the first time I ever saw him. It was a party my friend threw. I was talking to a few friends from school when Molly bumped my shoulder.

    “Don’t look now, but a very attractive boy can’t take his eyes off you.”

    I laughed and angled myself so I could discretely look in the direction she was looking. His blue eyes had caught my breath in my throat as he smiled and beelines towards where I stood.

    I shake my head, shedding the old memory and returning to the cafe.

    I don’t watch him anymore, but I know he stood up. I can feel his stare burning into my spine. He comes up next to me, beaming.


    “Hi Daniel.” I reach to take my drink from the employee. I watch him. I know the instant he notices the ring; the brightness around him dims several degrees.

    “So, who’s the lucky guy?” His voice is tight.

    “Daniel, you made your choice ten years ago. I’ve moved on since you left. I’m happy now; I found a man who actually loves me, someone I love with all my heart. I’m glad I knew you, but I found my true path.”

    I smile and walk out of the cafe. He doesn’t follow.

    Thoughts tumble around in my head as I get in my car. Everyone has their path. The choices they’ve made. How any two people end up in the same place at the same time will ever be a mystery.

  • Goodbye, I Guess

    My goodness, how time has flown.

    How is it already time to wrap this up?

    I’m not ready to say goodbye.

    I don’t think I will.

    There are some of you who will leave; others will be sticking around on here. Either way, thank you for letting me read your writing. Please know that you matter. Please know that you have changed at least this life.

    I’ll be staying, although I will definitely be posting a little less as life gets crazy.

    So here’s to new adventures! Here we go!

  • Promises


    You told me you’d never leave.

    You left.

    You told me you’d always listen.

    You didn’t hear.

    You told me you’d always have my back.

    You broke it.

    I guess promises don’t mean the same

    If my purpose is you.

  • Dancing in the Rain

    Dancing in the Rain

    The rain washed over my head

    And rivulets ran down my face

    And every corner of my soul came alive

    As he took my hand

    And we danced.


    We were soaked within seconds;

    The rain kept falling,

    Turning the landscape

    Into an old washed out watercolor;

    Smudging lamp light

    Through the tears of the sky.


    His arms held me close

    As we moved amidst the storm.

    His cologne was washed away

    And his lips tasted of the purest water.


    Rivers rushed around our ankles,

    But we didn’t heed their call.

    We held fast to each other,

    Swaying in the wind,

    Our faces turned up to receive the rain.


    But too soon it was over

    And he faded

    And my tears and the sky’s mixed on my cheeks.


    For I am alone again

    In an empty, soggy park.

    He can never dance long,

    As merely a figment of my dreams.

  • A Story

    A Story

    He held the wood gently, turning it slowly to inspect it.

    “Where did you get this?”

    “I told you, I inherited it from my grandparents.”

    “Don’t lie to me. We both know that’s not true.”

    She sighed. “Look, I can either keep you in business or you can be suspicious. I didn’t break any laws, if that’s what you’re worried about.” A subtle eye roll accompanied her words. “Just keep that one.” She stood and walked to the door. She was gone by the time her quiet words processed in his brain. “You’ll thank me later.”

    David looked up briefly, barely taking in her absence before his eyes were drawn back to the wood. It was a fairly large piece and he had never seen anything like it. But he could feel the quiet hum of energy that pulses from every piece of wood that has a story to tell.

    The delicate wood looked almost fragile in his calloused hands.

    “What is your story?” he muttered under his breath, examining every inch of the wood as he carried it to his lathe.

    Hours later, the sun began to emerge, tentatively reaching over the horizon and creeping through windows peacefully.

    As it entered the carpenter’s ancient shop, it found David slumped in a chair, in an exhausted sleep, holding the finished story the wood told.

  • Careful Who You Trust

    Careful Who You Trust

    Her green eyes flashed with anger. “You wouldn’t dare!”

    His calloused hand roughly grabbed her chin and pulled it upward, forcing her to stare into his dark eyes. “Try me.” His voice shot sharp shards of ice cascading over her, despite the unnatural heat in the building. He felt her body go limp with defeat. He fought a smile, knowing he had found her weakness.

    “Alright,” her voice was even, concealing any thought but that of how she had been bested. “I’ll help you. I’ll do what it takes to keep them safe. What guarantee do I have they will survive?”

    “My word.” He smiled as he released her, a smile never reaching past his lips. He watched as his guards hauled her battered body out of the room. He listened as the door to her cell closed thunderously. “My word it will not happen.”

  • Letters to Luke, Part 11

    Letters to Luke, Part 11

    Dear Luke,

    So, you know how I used to make fun of you for your senioritis? And how I would complain about how the time you left for school would always make me late? I’m sorry. I never thought that I would be somebody who got hit hard by senioritis, but my goodness, I’ve been hit! I keep remembering that I have homework and then conveniently get distracted doing something else for a little while. It isn’t good… I’ve been worse than you ever were in regards to senioritis symptoms. Now I see why you always recommended avoiding AP classes your senior year. Thanks for that, by the way. You probably saved my GPA by recommending I get the harder classes out of the way earlier and saving the easy classes for this year. Thankfully I don’t have all that much to do homework-wise at this point, haha.

    Cross country has been pretty fun, if a little bit cold lately. We’ve been out running in the snow, as long as it isn’t completely blizzarding outside. If it is too crazy outside, we do some strength training inside instead. It has been really good for me this semester, helping me have something else to do than obsess over your empty room.

    Oh! I found the prettiest photograph yesterday in the park, just waiting to be taken. Obviously I obliged and took the picture! It turned out so well! You know how there’s a small river through the park? Well, it was completely iced over in beautiful patterns, like frost on a window. I’ve never seen anything like it on that large of a scale. I wish I could show you my picture.



    Dear Luke,

    I was going through my camera roll today. I found a video from… before you got sick. We were just goofing around, and I jokingly started recording. I also found one that you must have stolen my phone to make in the hospital. I miss your voice. I wish it had been me to go. It isn’t right that someone so full of life and love would be taken so early. Why couldn’t it have been me who got sick, if someone had to? Why did you have to suffer the way you did? Why did you have to leave everyone behind? People needed you, Luke! I still do! You know me; there’s no way I can live enough life for both of us! But you deserve to have a life lived for you! Why couldn’t you have beaten it? Why couldn’t the remission have stayed?

    I’m broken without you, Luke. Why couldn’t it have been me instead?



    Dear Luke,

    You know how during the second round you fought, the neighborhood rallied and did fundraisers and all that stuff? Like how the Coleman’s made stickers that said “Live Like Luke”? Well, the Coleman’s came by today to visit with Mom and Dad, and I saw that they still have their sticker in their car window. I don’t know why I haven’t noticed it until now, but it shattered me again. We all thought that you would beat it again. But here we are, all missing a part of our souls.

    Living like you did is harder than you always made it look. The world needs you.



    Dear Luke,

    Oh man, it’s been a rough week. Everything has chipped away at my heart. I feel broken, so broken without you. I feel guilty. Why should I get to live my life and find any happiness when you are gone? It isn’t right. But maybe it’s okay, because I haven’t actually been truly happy since; everything I do is tinged with shades of blue and grey. But also, I shouldn’t make excuses. I don’t miss you enough, do I?


    Dear Luke,

    Hey. This sucks. Sorry for my pity party and stuff this week. It’s been really rough lately. I’m not even sure what “it” is. But I’ve been really missing you. If only you knew.

    Love, Lizzie

    Dear Luke,

    I figured it out. I figured out why your absence has been so cripplingly heavy and all consuming. It is Christmas. At least, Christmas season. And you aren’t here. Celebrating Christmas doesn’t feel right without you. It isn’t the same, and it never will be again. And I know. I can hear you telling me that Christmas and Easter are intertwined in every way and that I should take comfort in the plan and the eternities. I guess it’s just hard to trust when all I can see is a fraction of the full picture and what’s happening in that fraction looks completely, entirely wrong. I know I should trust, even when God’s plan makes absolutely no sense. But it’s a lot harder than you made it look. I wish I could borrow just a sliver of your faith to tide me over.



  • Anxiety Subscription

    Anxiety Subscription

    My heart pounds far too fast

    My thoughts grow cloudy and racing

    My lungs are constricted, no air entering

    My stomach entertains the idea of revolt

    My brain won’t even listen to me

    I’m so done with all of this

    Where do I cancel the subscription

    To my anxiety daily issues

  • 11:11 wish

    11:11 wish

    I still smile every time you text me.

    I still get butterflies when you smile at me.

    I still want to know every dream you have.

    You’ve been here for me in my darkest moments.

    You’ve trusted me with your pain.

    You’ve been my light for so long now.

    You’re still my 11:11 wish.

  • Convenience date gone sideways

    Convenience date gone sideways

    Wyatt pulled up in front of Ellie’s house and took a breath. It was just a date. He asked her because it was convenient. Right?

    Nerves jangled inside him as he walked to her door and knocked. Almost immediately the door flew open to reveal her beaming face.

    “I’m heading out! Love you!” she called over her shoulder, presumable to her parents, as she quickly shut the door.

    Eyes laughing, she grabbed his arm and tugged him towards his old car.

    “Hurry, before they come out to interrogate!”

    Wyatt chuckled and gave in, only because he knew her parents trusted him. After all, Ellie and Wyatt had known each other their entire lives.

    “Okay, what’s the plan?” she asked as he got her door.

    “Laser tag then treats. Maybe a movie if you want to, afterward.”

    “Ooh! I’m gonna kick your butt! This ought to be fun!”

    “Ha! I’ve been practicing with my brothers.”

    “Oh, so now you’re on par?” The teasing glint in her eyes made his stomach flip, unleashing butterflies.

    A few very short minutes later, they pulled up in front of the arcade and joined the rest of their group. Ellie looped her arm through Wyatt’s as they walked in and quietly said, “You’re done for.”

    Yes, he was. But not in the way she thought.


    Is he intentionally being dense? I have been trying to flirt with him for weeks! Maybe this is his way of telling me he isn’t interested.

    Ellie shook her head and refocused her thoughts to the boring instruction video.

    Wyatt leaned over, the smell of his cologne wrapping through the air. “We could probably give the instructions after how often you dragged me here in high school.”

    She tried to stifle a laugh but didn’t quite succeed. A smug look crossed his face. Finally the video ended, and everyone geared up.

    She tossed a cocky grin over her shoulder to Wyatt as everybody split up into the artificial fog.

    Ellie hurried in the opposite direction of everyone else. Lasers started flying, and the game was on.

    After several minutes of sniping opponents, Ellie saw someone creeping towards her hiding place. She ducked behind another wall, at the ready to take whoever it was down.

    A familiar cologne caught her attention, and she whipped around. His head peeked around the corner, a mischievous grin on his face. His arm snaked out from behind the wall and gently took her gun, pushing it towards the ground, as he stepped out from behind the block.

    Ellie’s eyebrows went up in a challenge. “Is this some kind of new strategy?” Teasing filled her voice.

    “No.” He reached up to nudge her chin up, eyes flickering to her lips. “But this is.” A beat later, his lips were on hers.

    It was a gentle kiss, tentative but sweet. It was perfection. Ellie’s stomach became a flock of butterflies as she pulled him closer.

    Too soon he drew back, a subtle smile decorating his soft lips. A corner of his lips quirked up into a smirk as he lifted his laser gun and shot her.

    The timer went off, ending the game.

    Ellie took a breath, trying to get her thoughts straight. She looked up, and Wyatt was gone. She stepped out of her alcove and saw him, against a wall, seeming to be recovering his breath.

    She walked over and leaned against the wall beside him.

    “We gonna talk about that?”


    “Yep, that kiss.”

    “Sorry, I shouldn’t have taken that liberty and-“

    She stopped his words. “Don’t say it. I don’t want to hear you apologize. I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.” Ellie stepped out, in front of him, grabbed his shirt and went on her tiptoes. A sassy look crossed her face as she pressed her lips to his again.

    She pulled away quickly and started walking away, leaving Wyatt stunned. She paused a few steps away.

    “Are you gonna come out or stay in here?”

    A smile slid across his face as he ran to her side and took her hand as they walked out of the arena.